IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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