I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
