i think i have herpe
just one?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
