a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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