My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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