it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
