4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
