i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Text me some of your sweat
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