That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Please, let me fuck your mom
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
