I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
