I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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