wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Randomize
