Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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