Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
