Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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