Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
