I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
