So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
