How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
