with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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