Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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