You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize