Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
