I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
