literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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