whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
