is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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