I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
