his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
