did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
