I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
