Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
