Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
