Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
