im drinking this country out of the recession.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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