did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
