mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
