I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
