Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
