I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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