Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
