I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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