ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
