come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
