He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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