How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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