we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
