Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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