pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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