i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Do you have feelings for this penis?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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