Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
