I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
