I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize