Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
