the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
