"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize