If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wish i was in the wii world.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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