No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
