where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
