why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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