Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
